The Squeeze

Yesterday was here for a whole 24 hours.

I met LJ for a walk in the wilds of Beckley woods. It was cold. And muddy. And fun. I laughed and wheezed (I'm getting over a rather nasty cough) as we squelched and slid our way along the tracks. We talked about stuff as we always do, musing over.. well stuff.

I must admit that my meditation was not a long one and I squeezed it in before going to bed. I sat, I breathed and I returned to that breath deep in my belly each time my mind got busy, which happened to be fairly regularly. Part of me would like to sit, observe that I've left the present and then see which party we're off to next. It's all so random: who designed the synaptic infrastructure of my brain? Oh yes, that will have been me, but of course there were so many outside influences I'd like to credit, too numerous to mention by name but they're out there somewhere.

I did a basic meditation, to the word of the Fig, so why did I feel so dissatisfied? Something to do with the squeeze and the fact my hot water bottle was whispering "come and join me" I guess. The morning hours are a good time for me to sit, unless I'm with a group of people and then just about any time is ok as long as I don't have to travel more than about a mile. I woke 20 minutes before my rarely-set alarm today. And I lay thinking that this was a respectable chunk of time for a meditation in the sun-soaked bedroom... but bejaysus it was freeeeezing. I couldn't do it. Well I could have. I just didn't.

I ate no wheat. I did, however, consciously enjoy each and every Kettle Chip that equated to over 50% of my calorific RDI. Oh! Up until Right Now I forgot the ice cream that I absent-mindedly spooned in as I watched The Hours. Eek. Make that 10%. The Vegetable Soup was very good indeed.

This morning there was a phone call. £1000 give or (less likely) take a couple of hundred. This is what it's going to cost to fix my car. I gave myself about as many minutes of stress, getting ahead of myself and the state of my future finances. Fig gave me the gentle reminder that I can't do anything about the necessary flow of energy from my bank account (IT) and I reminded myself of the Serenity Prayer, fresh in my mind since I've just finished For Tibet With Love by Isabel Losada. Would it be a courageous act to change my Mini for a new second-hand car?


Aum
xxx

I'm Awake (& Still In My PJ's)

Aus⋅pi⋅cious?
  /ɔˈspɪʃəs/ [aw-spish-uhs] – adjective
1. promising success; propitious; opportune; favourable
2. favoured by fortune; prosperous; fortunate

Did you notice the date? It's Sunday, Valentine's Day, New Moon in Aquarius, Chinese New Year (of the Tiger) and the birth/rebirth of tens of thousands of souls. Added to this I'm pretty sure I can't go wrong.

The spiritual path is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it - Marianne Williamson

Put simply: I can live in truth now, or later.

So in which direction shall I take my first step? I'm a little dizzy and realise I'm getting carried away on the tide of words in the oceans not yet typed. B R E A T H E.

Ah yes! Breath. My lovely BodhiFig tweeted me a meditation late last night. Just a short one to make part of my sadhana or daily practice. I haven't meditated regularly for a few... er several months and I guess today is the day to get back into the habit. So I will. Later.

Now, one pace to the left: Conscious Eating. I studied Natural Nutrition for a while and I know what is good for my body. I like what is good for my body and my body loves it. I just don't . eat . regular . healthy . meals. I am what I believe is commonly known as a comfort eater and yo-yo dieter (that's right, all or nothing - as hinted at in my last post).

As I inch forward I've decided to give up wheat. Not 100% give it up and not for good, but from NOW it is an occasional indulgence rather than my dietary staple. It makes me lazy. I confess I am addicted to bread and the thought of it not being a large part of my life scares me a little. I will experiment with sitting with these feelings. They are not real and they will pass!

Have a great day.
AUM
xxx