Oops, sorry. Was I snoring?
I've certainly been drifting in and out of wakefulness through the past few months and, if I can find a box of matches and prop my eye-lids open for long enough, I'm sure I'll get to the reason why...
This morning following a positive review (thank you Neeta www.neetashealthyplate.com - a luscious and bountiful blog) I felt I had to own up to the fear that keeps me from blogging. So I'm going to stand atop a virtual podium and shout: I'M SCARED - of not being witty enough, light enough, of showing my vulnerability, of being dishonest, of having writer's block, of being boring, darn it OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH! There, it's out. and my laptop hasn't caught alight and I'm still breathing fairly evenly (something I often "forget" to do).
I've recently done my biennial shelf-shuffle/dust and two books that have been cleverly camouflaged and unread on my bookcase, in gratitude, opened themselves up to me and gave me their truth. By name they are "The Celestine Prophecy"(James Redfield) and "Conversations with God" (Neale Donald Walsch) and by george they're good! If I'm honest I feel comforted that I resonate so strongly with the words on their pages, that our collective memory is returning (that I am now, perhaps just in time, choosing to remember).
My understanding is that there exists only two "emotions": love (lightness of being) and - in the absence of love - fear (dense, heavy energy). Feeling bad is a symptom of duality which occurs when I move away from my divine purpose = to love. If I honour myself and others, in thought, word and deed, I attract more love and light into my life, thus making my world spin in a cloudless blue sky :) All You Need Is Lennon & McCartney and Reg Presley Is All Around Me - really quite insightful aren't they?!
Unconscious living includes unconscious eating. Several thousand grams of sunflower oil from bags of Kettle Chips have mysteriously added themselves to my hips. I am still pretty much wheat-free, though I feel that doesn't count for much when I consider the other nutrient-free foods that have entered my body whilst my mind was occupied elsewhere...
1st August and time to sit with my-whole-self once again. As it is written on the silver ring on my little finger: Sa Ta Na Ma - a catalyst for change and a mantra describing the continuous cycle of life and creation. Oh yeah!
I'm glad to be back.
Aum x
Rachel, every word you write resonates deeply, like you said, there are only two choices - love or fear - I've learned that this choice has to be made every moment, every day.....it does not mean, not feeling fear, but inspite of feeling it, choosing love....makes one a spiritual warrior ;-) and that love begins with Self - tat tvam asi - thou art that - and thus not only good enough but the best :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the gracious words about my blog....
and thank you very much for writing again, I'm going to be at home here for sure :-)
Much love, xox
Oh Neeta, I am working on being awake enough to be in a position to make this choice moment by moment!
ReplyDeleteI love having your company :-D See you on the other (your blogs). Sat nam xx