My idea of home

Alone in life
Like an eagle flying high
My kingdom is the mind
As the bird has its sky

This is the first verse of a poem I wrote 24 years ago. It isn't a happy poem, as none of them were in those days! Today I am lost in thought and yes, I feel the teensiest bit lonely. I wonder when it was that we stopped living in community, when we were there for each other. Not across the ether - yes those 3 hours on Facebook have been fun - but there in person, able to look into one another's eyes and touch each other. I curse the linear village!

For many years I've been yearning to live more simply and without excess baggage. I like nice things: I'd keep my Egyptian cotton sheets and cashmere cardigans thanks very much, just have less of everything. My dream home is a yurt. With plumbing for my very civilised bathroom annexe. And a workable kitchen area. The idea of living in one room appeals to me and I honestly don't understand why I would want to borrow crazy amounts of money to buy/borrow the bricks and mortar that constitute a house.

Cave of the Yellow Dog is one of my favourite films and I have pondered the life of a nomad. I don't think it's for me. I see a settlement of yurts and (I'll allow) wooden lodges, with a large communal kitchen garden and central area with seating and a home fire heating a forever-boiling kettle. If I hold this picture in my mind for long enough, one day this will be my home.

Aum xx

ps I'd have a little sign hanging on my (oak stable) door saying Welcome. Should my introverted nature take over I'd turn it round to show the legend I've retreated to my kingdom, please be seated and wait until I've landed.

Now... where was I?

I haven't been around much in the past few weeks, not in the moment. I went and stayed in the 2* resort of my head - upset and stressed about something over which I had no control, something in the past. What a waste of time and energy. I overlooked so much while I was time-travelling. I missed:

precious moments with my son
the beauty of starry skies
being in awe of the meteor shower
whole conversations
the feel of the wind in my hair
the rain on my face (and there was a lot of it to miss)
the song of the birds
the taste of the food I ate
life

Why did I go away? Hmmm... I was genuinely upset by the event and then immersed myself in the drama. Perhaps I even enjoyed my chosen role of queen - I certainly practised the scene often enough, going over and over my lines, rehearsing with anyone I thought might have ears to listen and give feedback. Who needs television?

I don't think the play will run as long as The Mousetrap and anyway, I think I may retire early, sleep on it and wake up to a brand new NOW.

Aum x