Given that in my ideal world I am driving my bus, who should drive the minibus of an 8 year old without a licence and not wearing his glasses? When does nurturing become a struggle for control over another? If I chose the lessons I need in this lifetime and am continually creating the life I - perhaps subconsciously - "want", surely the same goes for the small person in my life... So should I even attempt to:
- force him to eat fruit and vegetables having explained the consequences of a poor diet?
- push him (and I mean shove him) into trying new experiences given his preoccupation with " not losing", "failing" or even it "tasting nasty"?
I have a fearful child (he was a bright student of the sleeping mother) and now I wonder how best to teach him what I know, and am still learning. Today I led by example and then struggled to accept his choice not to follow and engage in adventure, daring and fun. I'm sitting with the above questions and find that I'm lacking even one answer.
Should I empower an 8 year old to make his own decisions and then...release my attachment to the outcome? Is an 8 year old even capable of making an informed choice (not one based on animal fear)?
The umbilical cord was cut but surely my job as belayer is not over? As far as knots go, it's a veritable hitch that I'm tying myself in...
Aum xx
ah rachel, dilemma for all mothers!! even now when my daughter is 19, i still sometimes ask these same questions and get myself into the same old tight and vicious circle - the only difference is these days i become aware quicker and get out of the circle faster :-)
ReplyDeleteno knot, no hitch, no fear - you are doing your best and then it is your child's karma.....whenever i feel guilty or unsure about myself as a mother - i tell myself, my kid (her soul) chose me as the mother she needed to live the experiences, good or not so good, in this lifetime.....breathe and let go....
i'll leave you with words from kahlil gibran - your children come through you, not from you.....
love and hugssssssss