The Squeeze

Yesterday was here for a whole 24 hours.

I met LJ for a walk in the wilds of Beckley woods. It was cold. And muddy. And fun. I laughed and wheezed (I'm getting over a rather nasty cough) as we squelched and slid our way along the tracks. We talked about stuff as we always do, musing over.. well stuff.

I must admit that my meditation was not a long one and I squeezed it in before going to bed. I sat, I breathed and I returned to that breath deep in my belly each time my mind got busy, which happened to be fairly regularly. Part of me would like to sit, observe that I've left the present and then see which party we're off to next. It's all so random: who designed the synaptic infrastructure of my brain? Oh yes, that will have been me, but of course there were so many outside influences I'd like to credit, too numerous to mention by name but they're out there somewhere.

I did a basic meditation, to the word of the Fig, so why did I feel so dissatisfied? Something to do with the squeeze and the fact my hot water bottle was whispering "come and join me" I guess. The morning hours are a good time for me to sit, unless I'm with a group of people and then just about any time is ok as long as I don't have to travel more than about a mile. I woke 20 minutes before my rarely-set alarm today. And I lay thinking that this was a respectable chunk of time for a meditation in the sun-soaked bedroom... but bejaysus it was freeeeezing. I couldn't do it. Well I could have. I just didn't.

I ate no wheat. I did, however, consciously enjoy each and every Kettle Chip that equated to over 50% of my calorific RDI. Oh! Up until Right Now I forgot the ice cream that I absent-mindedly spooned in as I watched The Hours. Eek. Make that 10%. The Vegetable Soup was very good indeed.

This morning there was a phone call. £1000 give or (less likely) take a couple of hundred. This is what it's going to cost to fix my car. I gave myself about as many minutes of stress, getting ahead of myself and the state of my future finances. Fig gave me the gentle reminder that I can't do anything about the necessary flow of energy from my bank account (IT) and I reminded myself of the Serenity Prayer, fresh in my mind since I've just finished For Tibet With Love by Isabel Losada. Would it be a courageous act to change my Mini for a new second-hand car?


Aum
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